Fallen Crest High | Rin (Harold Sakuichi)

It's finally winter break for me! Now I can finally write again. Although not everything is rainbows and smiles now, my life continues in it's depressing decline.

I think it's partly due to my unrealistic expectations of life. First of all, after years of living without an active social life I started to depend on my success as a student to be happy. And that my dear readers has turned out to be a great mistake. For example, you could say I was content in my high school years because the studies were so easy so therefore I felt happy, but now in college, my classes are really hard and because I don't do as well as before I feel depressed.

My social life still is really depressing so I'm screwed either way. Maybe I've been depressed for years now, but I had ignored it until now. Now I realize there's this huge void inside me that I can never fill, specially with superficial stuff. Things that used to make me happy, now only bring me instant happiness until I remember my harsh reality. And boy, have I screwed up with a lot of guys! It's just that I have an unrealistic expectations of guys, I always expect them to be something they're not. And let's face it, most guys now either are jerks or cowards or childish. But god, does it hurt everytime I screw up....

And I won't even talk about this guy that I had strung along for a long time, who then rejected me (or I rejected him, I'm not sure), found a girlfriend immediately, and then still expects me to go along with him like nothing happened. Or this other cute guy that I really liked, and because he didn't pursue me I thought he was shy so I pursued him (I probably was really pathetic btw), and then he still didn't make a move and now I'm too embarrassed to do it myself.

But let's stop talking about my nonexistent love life, honestly this year left me tired of guys who pretended to like me, while all along they had girlfriends or were total players.And I honestly don't wanna tell you how I totally screwed up my grades...

So I'll tell you about the only things that have given me happiness for a day or two.

First, there were the Fallen Crest High series, nothing like perfect fictional guys to forget about reality. And the drama! sigh... I remembered my days of watching Gossip Girl haha. (Honestly I'm not good in explaining the awesomeness of a book so just read the summary in goodreads, then READ IT and decide by yourself haha).

And next there is this great manga that remembered me of my days of reading Bakuman, but I'll be honest here and tell you that it's even better! haha Also the author is the same one as Beck which is great and you should also check out!!

It's about this kid who has always wanted to be a mangaka, but when he finally takes his manuscript to his favorite manga magazine he is harshly rejected and told to quit. But he perseveres and meets a mysterious girl that seems to have supernatural powers. Honestly the story seems kinda stupid but it's all about the ambiance the author gives. Also it has a weird sense of humor, but I'm weird so I'm ok with it haha.

And later today I'll probably immerse myself in the world of sims 3 and forget about my sad reality. So I'll talk to you later if I find more awesome stuff or if I'm crying of sadness and need to unwind somewhere.