Opening Up

I guess what I'm feeling right now is an overwhelming of new feelings. Feelings that I had chosen to ignore before. This is probably an after-effect of taking a more open philosophy in my life... I'm so emotional now that is funny (now I'm a crybaby, I even cry at silly movies!).

Before I just didn't care about anything, I ignored people and I cared shit when they told me their problems, so I guess that I was a bad friend... I probably shouldn't care now when they betray me.

But the problem is, now I do.

Opening up to good feelings also leads up to feeling the bad ones. Everything has a dark side. What is up for me now, is deciding if it's worth to feel this sadness. Because I'm sad, I'm sooo sad that I could scream and cry for hours.

But now I have to decide if I'm going back to what I was before, a cold, lonely, insensitive robot, or become a whole being surrounded by people who truly care about me. Because if I manage to fully open up, that's what I'll get, true friends, or at least friends that truly now the real me and accept me for what I am.

I guess now I can only hold on and get rid of the things or people who only hurt me, drag me down, and basically believe they can treat me like trash. Because I want to be a better person and I believe there's still hope for me.

God, I should just shut up, I'm even tired of my sensitive crap! Now you can see me introducing color in my life (the colorful photo in this post instead of the depressing black and white pictures in previous posts) haha, and I'll leave with a very feel good song that I've been hearing lately!