HAIM - Coachella 2014

Normally I'm not much for live shows, but after the first Coachella weekend I decided to check the sets of certain bands. And since I really liked their songs "Days are Gone" and "Go Slow", I decided to listen to Haim. And WOW! I haven't been so impressed for a looooong time. Their first song was "Falling", and I literally got shivers listening to it. It's not that is catchy or really instrumental, but it just has... something. That something may be the passion they show while singing the songs or just pure talent, I don't know. I know it may be "long", but if you don't have the time, at least listen to the first song.

It's just... that moment when Danielle starts singing... and then Este's face haha

What I know, is that I'll probably will wait for a long time until I have the chance to listen to them live, and that now I'm officially a fan! And really, this discovery is all thanks to Troye that shares his amazing music taste in Spotify. haha

Here's my second favorite song from them, because after this show the number one it's definitely Falling.

And then of course there is Go Slow.

And I think if I continue I'll include all the Days are Gone album so I better stop haha.

Insomnia | Nana | What Would You Do - Bastille | The Neighbourhood

I'm in a strange place right now where my mind is in a constant mess. The noise in my head is so loud that the only way I can quiet it is by sleeping. But I'm not peaceful enough to sleep easily, so I just stay up late into the night until my body is so tired that I can't help but fall asleep so I can forget about my worries for one more day.

And what do I do late into the night you wonder? Well, right now it's quite innocent. I'm just rereading one of my favorite mangas again! And of course it's Nana. I don't what it is about it, but it just gets me every single time!! I always cry, laugh, and cry again while reading. The struggles of the characters are so real to me! I guess is because this story has helped me grow up, it shows that life is not just full of smiles and there's not always a happy ending (although is kind of depressing that this series has taught me to expect disappointment in life haha). But still, I've probably read this series once a year, but probably is due that I read this when I was really young and naive, but each time that I read it again I learn something new. Just a new insight that helps me make sense of the mess that is my life.

But maybe not everything is hopeless. After all, the series hasn't had an official ending. Currently it's on hiatus due that the author, Yazawa Ai, had cancer so she was going through the treatment. There's no official news release about the status of her help, but I'm hopeful because she drew some Nana's bonus pages at the beginning of the year. So maybe, she's thinking about continuing the series or maybe she's just thinking about how to break the news that she's retiring or beginning another series altogether.

Honestly it wouldn't surprise if she doesn't end the series at all, after all I have my own imagined ending by now. So it would be good if she's doesn't come back and break my happy illusion about the ending. But also I would like to have a lot of my doubts about the series resolved, because let's be real, she left a LOT of cliffhangers!!!! Maybe I'm being dramatic, but maybe it's due to the reason that I've been analyzing said cliffhangers for years now! So I'm going kinda crazy here haha.

Well whatever, I've been enjoying the past days while reading this manga. It made me forget about my shit problems for a while. Honestly, I'm such an idiot because most of my problems are due to my weak mind and indecision. Whatever, I'll just leave all this shit in the merciful hands of gods!

So, for now I'll treat you to some good music if you endured reading all this rant, haha.

New Year | Crappy first day

Have you seen the classic cliché movies where the main character goes home for the holidays, and EVERY single member of their family is annoying as hell. Well that was me last night. The worst is that I should know better than to expect a happy celebration. But I never learn, and yesterday proved to be just another let down.

Ok, I recognize I'm a bitch but they're just as psychotic!

So yeah, whatever, enough of my pity party. Here are some great songs that I have been using to work out.


Hahaha, I just realized they're very 2011. 

Lost and Found Series - Nicole Williams

So this month I had been in a book slump. I just couldn't find any good books!! I had resigned myself to admitting that I had probably already read all the good books released until this moment (and boy! was it sad...). But I'm happy to admit that I was mistaken!!!

One of this days I decided to read a book that I had ignored for a looooong time because I thought it was cliché and probably stupid, but I was the stupid one, because once I started reading it I realized my mistake. It was soooooo great! I mean great! AMAZING!!!!

The story of this girl touched my heart and the guy, Jesse, stole it! I mean, he's a hot cowboy!!! What more can you want?

The story was about this troubled girl Rowan. She dresses in goth clothes, uses black lipstick, has earrings, you know the whole look. And her mother asks her to prove she is responsible by moving to a farm and working there throughout the summer. There she meets the previously mentioned hot cowboy, Jesse, and his equally hot best friend, bad boy cowboy, Garth. So yeah.... it gets interesting. haha But what really surprised me is that Jesse is such a likable character, in fact all the family that takes her in is.

I just loooooove books about cowboys and the girls who get to love them. There's nothing better than reading about a tortured soul that slowly heals thanks to love! Yeah, I'm cheesy like that!!! haha

So the series consists on three books. Two are about Rowan, and the last one is about Garth, yay! (seriously I fell in lust with that character!!!) You can find the series on Goodreads HERE!

The Spectacular Now

I thought I would share with you  something upbeat I just did, for a change you know!

So I just saw this sweet movie called The Spectacular Now. It has this girl that is appearing in Divergent, I don't remember her name and I'm too lazy to google, and this unknown guy.

Well whatever, the story is about a boy that LOVES to party, he's the life of the party, and has a girlfriend that loves to party as much as him. His high school life seems perfect until his girlfriend leaves him for a more responsible guy, and then his alcoholism starts getting out of control.

So one day after a hard night of partying he wakes up in an unknown yard of some girl who goes to his school. So obviously he's instantly enthralled by this girl that is sooooo much different than him. So slowly he starts changing for the better. And well I think I already said too much, if I tell you more that would just be an annoying spoiler!! haha

Instead why don't you watch the trailer? We all know that's just the way of finding out what happens in a movie without having to sit there watching the movie for two hours. haha

But jokes aside, the movie was really sweet and it made me happy for tonight, so that's what counts!!!

Now I don't wanna be a party pooper but I'll just be honest for an instant. For example, the girl got on my nerves a couple times. It's just that she was so naive!!!! The guy was almost cheating on her all the time, or just being an asshole, but she just smiled and forgave him! So honestly I felt the movie was a bit unrealistic. But maybe that was the reason that it made me happy... Whatever, the fact is that at the end I really liked it! So go watch it!!!

Let It Go - The Neighbourhood

I just broke down... I was just reading this stupid quote on Tumblr about moving on and then it just got to me and I broke down crying, I couldn't seem to stop and I hadn't cried so hard in a long time.

It's just that everything is getting to me, like I can't even get out of bed, and when I'm there I can't even sleep and forget about shit, no, I just cry! The only way to laugh is to read some stupid meaningless book where a perfect boy gets the girl, it's so cliché but during those few hours I'm fine with it.

And then in my social life I just keep being my same fucking antisocial being, and not having a car is seriously hindering my efforts to get out of bed. Just the thought of asking someone taking me, knowing that they hate carrying me around and I'm just a burden. I'm so stupid that I wouldn't even want to hang around me, and the worst part is that by doind this I just keep aleniating more people. I know I should be happier, or at least appear, but I don't even know how to pretend to be happy and normal.

Sigh.... And by doing this I just keep making this blog more depressing.... It's just that I need somewhere to vent at 2 a.m. Sorry.

btw I'm at a point where I understand why people become alcoholics or drug addicts, but damn I don't have some right now!

City of Bones | The Mortal Instruments

So I've read these books maybe a couple of years ago, and honestly when I read the back cover I was hesitant to say the least. Actually I had managed to avoid it for quite a long time, until a boring day where I decided to finally read it (maybe because there was nothing else to do, and it had raving reviews after all!).

But surprise surprise, I LOVED IT, I think I even wrote a post about it here, I don't remember... But the thing is that I was totally and absolutely immersed in it. I knew that it had it's cliché moments and the overused supernatural stuff, but at that point I was bored with every other genre and it seemed like I HAD to return to fantasy.

And honestly it didn't disappoint. I was instantly in love with the character of Jace, and Simon! and the books had that something that makes you read book after book at 3 AM until you finish them. So it wasn't even a week before I finished the whole series, after that I even read some books about the English institute and some about Magnus Bane. I read all those books until the story seemed too outlandish for me, probably because what draw me in at the start was the relationship between Jace and Clary.

So after that I just decided to wait for the next book in the main series, and when it was announced, the movie! I mean, Robert Sheehan anyone???

Just look at him!!!

But today I finally had time to see the movie, and so I decided to watch it with my brother. After all he had heard me all year whining about it, and I guess he was interested in the action he saw in the trailer. But it hadn't even been twenty minutes into the movie when I started to get disappointed. I mean... Clary is just so stupid, and clumsy, and weak!! I don't know if it was my overactive imagination while reading the books or the movie just was plain bad. I guess Robert was great, even the guy who played Jace wasn't that bad (although I always imagined Jace a bit more like Lestat de Lioncourt, sigh, but you can't get everything...). But c'mon!!! Valentine is blond!!!! and he is not that young!!!!! I mean he is a father! what is wrong with the producers, and directors, even Cassandra Clare, How Could You???????

And then everything just went from bad to worse, for example everything seems to happen in just one day, they meet and then she's kissing Jace, and then finding out he's her "brother". Like after the first half of the movie everything is wrong. Of course there are some redeeming occasions where they followed the book (like Alec and Magnus Bane), but they are so isolated that when they happen the common viewer doesn't understand what is happening. Like Simon, when they rescue him he is just hanging pretty there, but in the book he is actually a rat, of course I appreciate the view but I would appreciate it more if they sticked to the story. And then the fight in the Institute, that is just plain stupid, I don't know whose idea was it (maybe to make it more "interesting"), I don't know, I just know it sucked.

So it's pretty easy to assume I didn't enjoy it, of course I will continue reading the books, but IF there is a next movie, I'll have to be forced to see it.

Like, do you get my point???? It's just so sad to see a good book ruined like that! Now excuse me, I'll go cry in a corner... Just joking, I'm mad instead of sad, maybe I'll just go read The Hunger Games or Lord of the Rings and think about movies where they at least tried to stick to the story.

Afrikaans is Dood | Smallpools - Dreaming (The Chainsmokers Remix)

I've reached a new level of emptiness, but there's nothing I can do, so for now I'll just keep writing.

I'm hoping that by being so bored and exhausted of my incompetence and laziness during this month I will get invigorated to face another year. But seriously I don't have much hope.... What I do all day is cry... Seing happiness makes me cry... reading romance stories makes me cry, even more than normal because I remember what I don't have... And even listening to music I like makes me cry... I'm so hopeless.... sigh.....

So when I find something that makes me happy for an instant I try to remember it and store it to prevent future sadness. This is some of that stuff:

The 1975 - Sex | Oooops, I fell for him!!

God! Just realized how much I like "cute guy" by the amount of time it took me to reply to his text message. That's without mentioning the silly smile on my face when I realized he had messaged me after giving him my number, and the pathetic amount of time it took me to reply to each one of his messages.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself a little but it has been a while now since I started liking him and I have doubts about falling in love again. So instead of defining anything serious I've been trying to keep him like just this guy that I find cute, but I guess that I'll admit that I like him, although I won't start dreaming about our wedding ok! haha 

So this is my soundtrack right now! I just hope my heart doesn't get broken... :)
 

Fallen Crest High | Rin (Harold Sakuichi)

It's finally winter break for me! Now I can finally write again. Although not everything is rainbows and smiles now, my life continues in it's depressing decline.

I think it's partly due to my unrealistic expectations of life. First of all, after years of living without an active social life I started to depend on my success as a student to be happy. And that my dear readers has turned out to be a great mistake. For example, you could say I was content in my high school years because the studies were so easy so therefore I felt happy, but now in college, my classes are really hard and because I don't do as well as before I feel depressed.

My social life still is really depressing so I'm screwed either way. Maybe I've been depressed for years now, but I had ignored it until now. Now I realize there's this huge void inside me that I can never fill, specially with superficial stuff. Things that used to make me happy, now only bring me instant happiness until I remember my harsh reality. And boy, have I screwed up with a lot of guys! It's just that I have an unrealistic expectations of guys, I always expect them to be something they're not. And let's face it, most guys now either are jerks or cowards or childish. But god, does it hurt everytime I screw up....

And I won't even talk about this guy that I had strung along for a long time, who then rejected me (or I rejected him, I'm not sure), found a girlfriend immediately, and then still expects me to go along with him like nothing happened. Or this other cute guy that I really liked, and because he didn't pursue me I thought he was shy so I pursued him (I probably was really pathetic btw), and then he still didn't make a move and now I'm too embarrassed to do it myself.

But let's stop talking about my nonexistent love life, honestly this year left me tired of guys who pretended to like me, while all along they had girlfriends or were total players.And I honestly don't wanna tell you how I totally screwed up my grades...

So I'll tell you about the only things that have given me happiness for a day or two.

First, there were the Fallen Crest High series, nothing like perfect fictional guys to forget about reality. And the drama! sigh... I remembered my days of watching Gossip Girl haha. (Honestly I'm not good in explaining the awesomeness of a book so just read the summary in goodreads, then READ IT and decide by yourself haha).

And next there is this great manga that remembered me of my days of reading Bakuman, but I'll be honest here and tell you that it's even better! haha Also the author is the same one as Beck which is great and you should also check out!!

It's about this kid who has always wanted to be a mangaka, but when he finally takes his manuscript to his favorite manga magazine he is harshly rejected and told to quit. But he perseveres and meets a mysterious girl that seems to have supernatural powers. Honestly the story seems kinda stupid but it's all about the ambiance the author gives. Also it has a weird sense of humor, but I'm weird so I'm ok with it haha.

And later today I'll probably immerse myself in the world of sims 3 and forget about my sad reality. So I'll talk to you later if I find more awesome stuff or if I'm crying of sadness and need to unwind somewhere.